Are you struggling with change? Goals? Shifts? Transformation?
Whatever way you choose to describe it, it’s all pretty much the same deal:
Right now, we’re at point A. Shift happens. We end up at point B.
So far, so good…. except, it rarely happens that way.
What usually happens is we plan all the steps we’ll need to take to get to point B, start out on our epic journey, then run into unseen stumbling blocks, hidden forces of resistance, and waning motivation and enthusiasm.
So we take a step back, survey the landscape, tweak a few things, read a few books, hit up YouTube for some useful advice, then continue our epic journey.
Except, we’re still encountering all this mess we need to deal with. And we feel ill-equipped to do so. We start to feel out of our depth, unsure of our next steps, and wondering if maybe our inner cynic was right and we won’t be able to make this change after all.
Why?
Because we’re not asking the right questions.
You see, when we’re facing changes or goals, we spend 99.99999% of our time focusing on what we need to do to implement that change or reach our goal.
I’ve done this. I’ve seen clients do it. I’ve seen people around me do it, time and time again. And it’s logical: if we want different results, we behave differently.
But it rarely works, because doing is all about our external process. And change goes deeper than that.
If we want lasting change, if we want stretch ourselves and expand our concept of what’s possible, and if we want to live our lives to the fullest, “what do I need to do?” is not the most important question. It’s:
The question to ask if you’re struggling with change: “Who do I need to become?”
What is different about the version of me that does these things, that has met this goal?
What qualities does this version of me have?
How does this version of me spend her time?
What’s important to her?
How does she feel?
If you want change—really want it—those are the questions to start with.
Answer them, and what you need to do to make your change or reach your goal won’t be a decision: it will be the path laid out before you.
Who do you need to become to do what you want to do?
Further reading: What happens when you change your questions? & how to create lasting change
Image: Jazmin Antoinette
