Of course there aren’t reallyany rules, this is a post written purely from personal experience. You’ll find quotes all over the web telling you what personal development and self-awareness is, isn’t and ought to be.
But as meta-Ralph says:
“I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
OK, here goes…
1. Know How You Feel
That ‘gut feeling’ is all important. Our feelings may be influenced by the past, may not be what we want at that particular moment, but feelings don’t lie. They’re there for a reason and accepting them is one of the most difficult but rewarding things about personal development. Emotions can also manifest as physical feelings in certain parts of the body, so staying in touch with aches, pains, heaviness, and all the good stuff, can help you work out which feelings show up where.
2. Know the Differences Between the Present and the Past
This isn’t going to stop feelings related to the past coming up in a present situation, but it may help you to stop and think before acting on them. Once you know why a feeling has come up, you can take steps to process it.
Many strong emotional reactions aren’t to do with current situations, but past hurts and disappointments. Ask yourself ‘when was a time in the past that I felt like this?‘ and try and find a pattern in the jigsaw pieces.
3. Work out your principles, and stick to them.
Some people will knock you for it, but they’re not the kind of people you want around. Question your core beliefs until you get to a set of principles you feel proud of. Then start living them. That action alone will change your whole life.
4. Know When to Take Responsibility and Give Responsibility Back
The basics of this rule are: a) take responsibility for your actions and feelings; b) don’t take responsibility for other people’s actions and feelings.
If someone feels upset because of something you did, think about where that action falls on your own moral compass, rather than only listening to theirs. Equally, don’t expect people to fix your hurts – in the words of Nathanial Branden, ‘Nobody is coming to save you‘.
5. Never Stop Learning
There’s no way we’re ever going to truly ‘know’ ourselves. If we do enough self-searching, we can get a pretty good idea of what our patterns are, our strengths and weaknesses and what behaviours and tendencies we are susceptible to.
But that doesn’t mean the work stops.
We are constantly influenced by our culture, our society and the people around us and, at times, it can feel like hard work to stay true to ourselves.
Part of life’s beauty is our ability to keep learning, keep growing and keep becoming who we are.
What are your rules for personal development? I’d love to hear them in the comments section below!
Photo by Susanne Schwarz on Unsplash
