Hi, so… strange times, eh? I hope you and your family are well as we get to grips with this different way of life that is, for now, our new normal.
I’ve held off on writing a post the last few weeks because a) I haven’t been sure what to say, and b) there is so much advice about “How to Corona” that it feels a little overwhelming and I’ve been reluctant to add to the pot. But there’s a phrase I’ve been finding helpful the last couple of months and I wanted to share it with you today in case it’s helpful for you too:
“This is our first pandemic.”
I first read these words in an email from Caroline and Jason Zook a few weeks ago and they’ve been words I’ve returned to often since then when I’ve needed a reminder that hey, there is no one right way to “do” what’s happening right now.
With social media and email, we get other people’s ways of dealing with this new situation on loudspeaker 24/7. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti-social media. Used in specific ways, it can do great things. It’s one of the best tools we have right now to stay connected. Reading about someone else’s experience and finding inspiration, realising we’re not alone, or that they’ve encapsulated how we feel better than we could ourselves, is powerful and validating.
But often it’s not helpful, because none of these people we’re reading about are us. As author and parenting coach Eloise Rickman shared, “Every time you pick up your phone your brain is filled with other people’s ideas, their hopes and dreams, their books and coffee cups, their parenting styles and their choice of holiday, their homes and pets, their clothes and meals… how do you know what you truly want, when you’re constantly confronted with other people’s desires?”
If you want to KonMari, start a new hobby, write that book, and all those things you don’t usually have time to do, that’s great! Keep going. But not doing anything like this doesn’t mean you are wasting this time or using it any less wisely.
If you’re spending your days figuring out how to juggle work and childcare/crisis-schooling, looking at employment options, looking after your mental health, processing the “WTF” that is this year so far, silence anything that makes you feel like you’re not doing enough and give yourself a big hug for surviving.
One day at a time, friends.
