This post on JOMO is adapted from my new book “How to Be Kind to Yourself: A Guide to Navigating Life’s Daily Challenges with Self-Compassion, Self-Acceptance, and Ease,” which is available now! Find out more and get your copy here.
You’ve probably heard of FOMO: the fear of missing out. It’s that pang we feel whenever we get a sense that others might be doing or experiencing something that we are not part of. But that’s not what this post is about. Today, I want to talk about JOMO!
“JOMO”, aka the Joy of Missing Out, is FOMO’s much underrated counterpart. As a dyed-in-the-wool introvert, this has been one of my favorite aspects of addressing how FOMO shows up in my own life. Rather than feeling anxious about missing out on an opportunity, event, or social gathering, we can remember: sometimes it feels good to say no. In our hyper-connected YOLO world, there can be immense joy and satisfaction in deciding to slow down and focus on what’s going on right here, right now, instead.
Just because we can do something doesn’t mean we should. We live in a world with more choices, opportunities, and connections than ever before, which is amazing but can also be a minefield. Just because we can watch our email inbox from waking until sleeping, put the latest and greatest smartphone on our credit card, or attend every social event we’re invited to, it doesn’t mean doing these things is a good idea.
This is where having a clear sense of our values can anchor us to what matters. A useful question to ask is: “Is this going to bring me closer to, or take me further away from, what I want and who I want to be?” One way I embrace JOMO is I take frequent social media breaks. Rather than being bombarded by other people’s wishes, preferences, and choices, I can focus on my own.
Connection is important, getting involved in something meaningful is important, seizing opportunities that matter is important, growth is important—but only when these things are motivated by joy, not fear.
Photo by Meritt Thomas on Unsplash
