This post on creating a sense of purpose is adapted from my new book “How to Be Kind to Yourself: A Guide to Navigating Life’s Daily Challenges with Self-Compassion, Self-Acceptance, and Ease,” which is available now! Find out more and get your copy here.
You’ve probably heard the phrase “finding your purpose,” but this phrase is misleading. It’s unlikely you’ll be walking down the street one day, stumble over something, and look down to realize: Hey! It’s your sense of purpose. Instead, a kinder way of thinking about where purpose fits in your life is that it’s something you create. As I talk about more in How to Be Kind to Yourself, this involves getting out into the world and trying lots of new things. It involves experimentation, openness, and permission to be wrong. Some people can work through a set of coaching exercises and come out the other side with clarity about what adds a sense of purpose to their life. But most of the time, this clarity comes from trying new things and seeing what sticks.
If you’ve been waiting for a sense of purpose, it’s time to stop. It won’t find you; nor can you force yourself to find it. Plant the seeds of meaning. Start paying attention to yourself and the things that spark your interest. Notice when you’re curious about something, whether that’s advanced pottery-making techniques, horticulture, relationships, or forensic science. Look for patterns that come up in your life. Do you always gravitate to certain kinds of places, stories, people, subjects? What draws you to them?
As psychologist and author Eric Maisel wrote in an article published on The Good Men Project, “Treat your life as a project, as an opportunity to make yourself proud, and as an adventure foisted upon you by nature.”
Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash
